come and knock on my door...

i'm finally here. i arrived on friday and A LOT has happened. i've been certainly overwhelmed with loads of information. i was going to wait until sunday, our day off to post so i could sort my brain out but i figure with all that's going one, it will probably take all 9 weeks sort out!

today was our 3rd class. we had one yesterday afternoon and today we had AM & PM, meaning a DOUBLE. i've never done a double in all my practice. (which is just over a year now) all i knew was that, my PM practices haven't been the best. i am constantly thinking about food and water intake all throughout the day leading up to the class. then, i end up getting bloaty or exhausted and i am up and down the entire class. this happened yesterday during our first class. mind you, it was our FIRST class. EVERYONE was very anxious and nervous as bikram was instructing. i was totally depleted of all my energy, blacking out and getting dizzy. i did what i could and made it through. i didnt leave the room. this morning was similar but not as bad. i was exhausted and drained. upon working it out with my roommate(tara), chatting about it she mentioned the breath, focusing and taking it back notch in order to PACE MYSELF...hmm. i had thought about it, but not too seriously. i thought, "if he asks me to do something - "push and push and push" i'm kind of going to do it. THIS IS NOT THE CASE. we talked about it some more and she told me about her experiences and thought i would give it a try. she also told me about her secret weapon. this being her mental mantra. she suggested a song. a song that would make me happy during class, something that i could go to to clear my mind of any negative anxious thoughts i may be having...she gave me a silly one to use and it's stuck through class! "come on knock in my door... i'll be waiting for you.. doo doo dooo doo doo dooo!!" - the three's company song!

before class i was feeling a bit depleted, like i was fading. i ate a couple small snacks and headed to the hot room. tara and i set up our mats closer than we were before...each class we've been getting closer and closer to the front... funny enough, not by choice. (they really pack us in here) by triangle i knew i had it in the bag! i was feeling great! totally focusing on my breathing, taking DEEP belly breaths and letting in all the oxygen to my body. it was great! i felt so strong and focused. my other two class is had been crapping out around standing bow. up and down and up and down...oy.. it was messy. by the end i had been dragging myself up and down the mat into camel, rabbit etc...not this class! i knew i would finish without sitting a posture out. i focused on my deep breathing, paced myself and sang my song to get me through it all when there was no instruction to listen to or focus on. i couldn't believe it. i was/am so happy that my first double was so positive!

onward!... now i just have to bring it to posture clinic!

stay yogic,

mew